My Cousin Vinny

  • Mona Lisa Vito: You're gonna shoot a deer?
  • Vinny Gambini: I don't know. I suppose. I mean, I'm a man's man, I could go deer hunting.
  • Mona Lisa Vito: A sweet, innocent, harmless, leaf-eating, doe-eyed little deer.
  • Vinny Gambini: Hey Lisa, I'm not gonna go out there just to wimp out, you know. I mean, the guy will lose respect for me, would you rather have that?
  • Vinny Gambini: What about these pants I got on, you think they're O.K.?
  • Mona Lisa Vito: Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water... BAM! A fuckin bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces! Now I ask ya. Would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?
  • girl: i'm having vagina surgery
  • boyfriend: i know
  • girl: i love you
  • boyfriend: i love you too
  • after surgery she wakes up and only dad is there
  • girl: where is my boyfriend
  • dad: who do you think gave you the vagina
  • girl: what